New and Improved?

It has been about three months since I left my career in an effort to improve my life.  A drastic measure to be certain, but I am an all or nothing kind of person to the core.  I will be clean shaven or have a beard.  I can be the life of the party or be quite reserved.  And sadly for those that share my life, I can be wildly excitable or completely sullen.

Since 90 days seems to be a good probationary period (you can tell I worked in a corporate setting by that phrase) I thought I would check in on my wish list that I compiled when I was trying to gather the courage to radically alter my life.  It is important for me to go back and look at my goals to make sure I give myself credit for achieving them.  Too often I accomplish something, give myself no credit, and then wrongly accusing myself of getting nowhere.  So let's give them a look...

• Time - I want lots of time to think and play and figure things out and create.  There is no more precious commodity.  Everything I desire hinges on time.  Time = Freedom.  I certainly have more time than I used to, but most of it is taken up with helping to raise my child.  Perhaps it was a bit naive to think that I could quit my job and just wander around the city.
• I want to walk around and look at things - study things.  Maybe I will draw them, maybe I will paint them, maybe I will simply marvel at them.  I have begun to slow down and pay more attention to my surroundings and this makes me very happy.
• Money.  I want ample amounts of money.  Money to live the life of my dreams, money to aid others, money to start foundations and charities, money to help myself and others.  This one is funny.  When I wrote it, what I really meant was that I wanted to have millions and millions of dollars.  But, being afraid of being perceived as greedy, I wrote "ample."  Well, I got what I asked for.  I have "ample" amounts of money.  I would like to restate this wish at this time and become perfectly clear, I want millions of dollars.  And I will probably want millions more after that.  For the record we have given money to aid others, donated to charities, friends, and strangers.  I want millions so that I can do more of that.
• I would like to ride my bike to whatever it is I call work.  I have worked odd jobs downtown for a friend of a friend and have ridden my bike to get there.
• I want to spend more time with my family.  Not in a creepy congressional scandal way, but in the real way.  I want to be around Cari and Grey throughout the day.  Have I gotten to spend more time with my family?  Um, try all day every day.   I have driven them crazy and on some days they have gladly returned the favor.  But, I will never take for granted the opportunity I have had to be with my wife and son over the last three months.  I am extremely fortunate to get to be this much a part of their lives.
• I want to be a great father.  I am a great father.  I make tons of mistakes and I get very frustrated and I say and do the wrong things ALL of the time.  But I apologize and I keep showing up.  I don't know a lot, but I know the secret to being a great parent is to be honest, loving, sincere, and above all, to keep showing up.
• I want to be the best husband.  I could stand some improvement here.  I am insistent, impatient, and sometimes short-tempered.  This is a goal that I need to focus on much more intently.  I am going to do that starting right now.

• I want to create.  I want to write children's books with Cari, I want to write essays, novels, and parenting books.  I want to receive an honorary degree from a prestigious University.  Essays, yes.  Haven't quite made it to the novels or the honorary degree just yet.  I did however draw a picture of my son's favorite breakfast foods the other day because I wanted to feel extremely clumsy and uncomfortable.  Here it is...
• I want to sell and market a line of greeting cards that Cari has created, I want to promote other friends and artists that I now know and soon will meet.  I want to show people like me that there is a way for them to have a good life and that there is nothing wrong with having a non-traditional career.  Good start on these items, but I need to really step it up.
• I want to give back.  I want to help those who need it and teach those that are yearning to be taught.  Don't know if I have taught anybody anything, but I have given back on occasion.  You just can't do enough of that kind of thing.
• I want to to be on CBS Sunday Morning.  Not yet, but I have enjoyed watching it when I have had the time.
• I want to be on NPR - preferably Fresh Air with Terry Gross.  No calls from the producers of Fresh Air just yet.
• I would love to be a good cook - not a great one, just a good one.  I am getting better at this.  Thank God I have a wife that will gladly try what I cook and tell me that she loves it.  I may not be good yet, but I have found that I love to take the time to cook.  I find it so relaxing and enjoyable when it is not restricted by deadline.  Like all other things, if you start to put time demands on it, I will instantly despise the task.
• I would like to travel - Western Europe, the parts of North America that I haven't seen, and then who knows where else...  Not unless you count Enid, Oklahoma.  However, I am about to help one of my friends out with his business and it requires a good deal of travel, so in the next few months this will change.
• I would like to be good at Yoga.  Ugh, so disappointed in myself for not giving this more attention.  Along with improving my husband skills, this task gets the lowest marks.
• I would like to be friends/colleagues of David and Amy Sedaris.  Hahaha.... not yet.  If you happen to be friends of theirs, feel free to invite us all to dinner some night.
• I am strangely interested in beekeeping - maybe that could be a hobby.  This one needs to be deleted and replaced with home-brewing.  Beekeeping, what was I thinking?  Making my own beer makes much more sense.  What do I need with honey?  I can't finish a jar in a year.
• I would like to live my life, write about my life and get paid for it.  The world is a strange and wonderful place and I think that there maybe aren't enough people keeping record of that.  I would like to volunteer to do that.  Duh, I am totally doing that (payment coming soon).
• I would like to make/restore furniture.  I have no skill that I know of that would lend itself to this, but I would like to give it a whirl, anyway.  I have done a little wood working now and I am certain that I would NOT like to do this.  I think that I was confused.  What I would like to do is appreciate and purchase furniture.  Specifically, of the mid-century modern variety.
• I would like to be smiling most of the time.  It should be said about me, "he is always smiling."  I am smiling s lot more now than I used to.  

So, how am I doing?  Not bad.  Change comes slower than I would like it to, but I know that I am becoming myself again.  I also must remember that it took quite some time to lose the things that make me happy, so it should be no surprise that it will take some time to re-program myself.  

Now, if I could just get off of my ass and do some yoga.